You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
