Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
