i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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