I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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