Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
