did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
