We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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