My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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