there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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