yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
