S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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