when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
