Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize