You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
