When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
