Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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