I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
