I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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