Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
