Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
