Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
