sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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