Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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