through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
