The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize
