apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
