you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
