k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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