Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Randomize