More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
