hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
