Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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