So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Randomize
