Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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