I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
