Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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