Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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