my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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