I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm like, not good at living.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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