I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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