what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
We are all done wearing pants today
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
