ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
