Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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