And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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