Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
