I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Randomize