I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
