I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
