Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Sponge bath it is.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
