Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
