he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
