I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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