I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize