If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
