Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
