my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
23 Medical Examiners Reveal The Most Disturbing Causes Of Death They’ve Seen
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer