I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
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I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
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He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!