Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.