she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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