i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
