I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
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The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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