dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
