TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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