I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
