She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
