last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He felt like a one man threesome
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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