I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
