Can i not drive my cunt home
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
