Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
