he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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