So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I just sucked dick on a ferry
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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