If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
